Can you describe as a “loss” something that you never actually possessed?
My head tells me that I didn’t lose anything this weekend when the birth parents of a little boy to be born in a very short week decided not to go forward with meeting us. Although they picked our letter out of several and said that we would be his new family, we didn’t actually lose something. Despite the fact that this all developed very quickly and we were very excited about the possibility of finally adopting the child we’ve been waiting so long for, it wasn’t a ‘done deal’ by any means. We never really held that precious little boy who will surely be born with a chemical addiction to break; didn’t sign papers; didn’t meet the birth mom; didn’t go to the hospital; didn’t hear him cry. Intellectually it’s a fact: he was never my son, never my child, never my baby…and therefore I didn’t “lose” him.
But my heart isn’t getting the message.
