Family Spuds – Moorhead family updates

Looks like our son will be born on Friday, March 19th!

cigars

It was such a blessing that Stacie was able to be at the birth Mom’s appointments with her today. Not only did she get to build the relationship but was able to be supportive through some unexpected news. The high risk specialist saw that the baby’s weight is not increasing like it should at this point in the pregnancy (38 weeks tomorrow). In the past three weeks he has gained only a few ounces by  their calculations and is still just under five pounds. He immediately called the OB and scheduled an induction.

That’s tough news to receive for a first time Mom. The ensuing “glazed” look and confusion was evidence that the news was a shocker for her. She really thought in her head that she had two more weeks and was feeling very unprepared for child birth. Stacie was able to advocate for her to make sure the Doctor explained everything in a way that was clear (and she filled in a few details from experience).

The plan is that birth Mom will go to the hospital tomorrow (Thursday) at 5pm. We’ll meet her there. At that time they will use some gel that gets things going. She’ll have to stay at the hospital overnight to allow about 12 hours for the gel to work. Then on Friday morning they will induce labor and deliver this little kiddo.

We are praying hard that he will be born over five pounds. We’ve heard that they’ll keep him in the hospital until he gets up over five. In addition, we’re praying that his lungs, heart, brain and other vital organs will be fully developed and free from disease or defect. He has a fight ahead of him and he will not be alone.

God is with him.

JPM

.

We’ve been doing a lot the last two weeks to get ready. Paining, cleaning, moving furniture. I can’t say we’re there yet, but the most important things have already been taken care of. We’re on alert all the time now just in case the phone call is saying that we need to head to the hospital. This Wednesday Stacie will take bMom to both of her doctor’s appointments, who said that she’s glad because Stacie will have a chance to “see her baby.”

JPM

.

Every day gets a step closer to the baby’s arrival and it’s starting to feel more concrete. The thought of having a baby in the house again is very tense…after all it’s been eight years!

Well today we heard that birth Mom’s Dr. appointment showed she has not made any progress towards being dilated. But that’s OK. It would be a little early if he were to come this week anyway. God knows just how much time that little guy needs, and WE need.

The other encouraging thing is that next week Stacie will take the birth Mom to both of her Doctor appointments (one with the high risk specialist and one with her regular GYN). In fact it almost sounds like she’s a little excited about it. She said today that she’s happy Stacie will be able to come and “see her baby.” THAT put a smile on my face.

JPM
.

I’ve got some Wonderful, encouraging news to share; on Friday night (Feb 26th) we and the birth parents signed a letter of intent that says we will become the parents of this little baby boy.

This is new ground for us. In all of our previous adoption opportunities we never had a contract of the heart signed. Although it’s not legally binding, having them sign something that says they want us to adopt this child brings a tremendous amount of confidence to the situation. As our confidence grows so does our excitement that this may finally be the child that God intends to become a part of our family.

The two conversations we’ve had with the birth parents have been enjoyable. They’re polite, transparent, respectful and responsible. We recognize what a difficult decision they are facing and continue to pray for them. Our Friday discussion showed more than ever their resolve in placing for adoption.

Nothing can be finalized until 72 hours after birth (state law) but we have no reason to doubt that this will happen.

JPM
.

Good news and bad news.

Bad news first because I like to end on a good note. There are several factors that make this pregnancy “high risk”. I won’t go into the details of those reasons here, but suffice to say that there are risks. Risks can mean a danger to the health of the baby. This little guy has some things working against him. He may be born early for one, or have birth defects or more serious such as a risk of being stillborn. I must admit that already we’re feeling protective of him. Our hearts ache to think about the possibilities and even typing it now brings a tear to my eyes. This innocent and helpless little boy needs someone to advocate for him and be there to love him.

The good news is that bMom is getting the care that she and our little kiddo need. The organization we work with has helped her get AHCCCS medical coverage. She’s been getting prenatal care from an OB for at least the last three weeks. Every week she’s getting to an ultrasound (US) appointment with a group that specializes in high risk pregnancies and every other week she sees a specialist Doctor with that group. The US this week showed that this kiddo has a good brain, good teeth and good eyes. Yeah!!! How sweet such few precious details are to us.

“How Beautiful are the feet of those who bring Good News!” – Isaiah 52:7.

When love grows within your heart for a child yet unseen, every detail and nugget of insight to their humanity brings an unexpected flood of joy. A measurement; a Doctor’s assessment; an ultrasound picture.  The desire to connect with him is gravitational, yet each step nearer intensifies the draw.

JPM

.

We had a special delivery with some VERY POSITIVE NEWS tonight…the birth parents want to move forward and intend for us to adopt the baby!

The door bell rang as we sat on the couch watching the Olympics with my Mom and Dad. I opened the door expecting a neighbor (we don’t get many visits after dark) but it was Michelle from With Child. As I held our dog by the collar I wasn’t sure what to think. There she was standing by the door with her friend in tow. When I invited her in, she just asked “is Stacie here” and she hugged closely to the door frame. When Stacie came around the corner, Michelle brought out a balloon that says “It’s a Boy!” and yelled “CONGRATULATIONS!”  <eyes bulging and jaws dropping on the ground>

Its a Boy

Praise to God for this…He is so good. Honestly, we’re both a bit in shock. As of Friday (yesterday) things did not look so good, but it turns out that birth mom is sick and wasn’t well enough to call. But today she did initiate contact with Michele from With Child and twice stated their desire to pick us.

We’re overjoyed and filled with happiness and at the same time slightly reserved because of our past experiences. We’ve been to this point in the process before but have peace about the situation. It’s in God’s hands. This week may be significant for a couple of reasons. First, there is a 3D ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday and we hope to hear of good health. Another thing to come is that the couple will hopefully sit down this week with Terri who is a social worker who volunteers her time at With Child and a good friend of ours as well. When that happens it will be new ground for us to experience in a match so we’ll be praying for a successful outcome.

We’ll be on pins and needles but always trusting in our Lord for the outcome. Thank you so much for your prayers!

JPM

.

We had hoped to hear something by today, but there has been no contact from the birth parents to With Child. An outreach was attempted but they would not come to the phone.

We also found out that the baby is underweight. There’s been no prenatal care through most of the pregnancy and the Dr. ordered a 3D Ultrasound. It’s unclear if their living conditions are a healthy environment or not.

We’re praying that the baby would be protected and increase in health.

JPM

.

The meeting tonight went as well as we could hope for.

We met with a couple that are facing a tough choice…parents for their child. How do you get to know someone in that situation, over dinner in a busy restaurant with only two hours together? It’s an impossible task. You can’t ask the questions you want to: “are you SURE you want to do this”…”how can I know you won’t change your mind”… “does schizophrenia run in your family”…”used any drugs lately”. And they can’t ask what they want to really know either: “are you really a good parent”…”will you treat this child different than your others”…”what are you really like when you’re not trying to be nice to me”.

I can’t even imagine being in their shoes. They were likable. Quiet. Polite. Well kept. The mother-to-be is 23 and tomorrow is his 30th birthday.They’ve been together three years. No income to speak of, and they have to bike wherever they need to go.

It’s so hard to make any judgment about what will happen. We’ve been wrong too many times before. We no longer trust our intuition. It’s difficult to even say that we think it went well. Who really knows? God, that’s who. Me, not so much.

Now the ball is in their court so to speak. We hope to hear something by Friday if they want to move forward with us or not. We wish we would know tonight. But things like this can’t be rushed. If we tried I’m sure it would come off sounding like a shady used car salesman with the old “what can I do to put you in this Buick tonight” line…cheesy.

This couple could use some serious wisdom from the Lord right now. It’s a monumental decision. We could use peace…and maybe some distractions to take our mind off the situation.

It could be a loooong six weeks.

JPM

.